Waiting
You know that feeling when you're waiting for/wanting to know the outcome of something so eagerly, and yet you are so scared of the possible outcome that you don't even want to find out? It's kind of like not watching your favorite team play. You want so bad for them to win, but you can't bare to watch or find out if they do win (past tense cause you tivod the thing) and if you find out that they didn't win, you will be devastated. Why is that exactly? I really don't get it myself. I mean no matter what you do, there will be an outcome regardless of how you feel or how long it takes for you to find out. Maybe it's just reaffirming our own negativity. Maybe we just don't want our worst thoughts and feelings to be true, but feel that there is a big possibility we are right.
In a way, it sounds like the pessimist in us wins over the optimist side even though we try our hardest to have the good guys win.
Yesterday felt like the worst day of my life. I just realized that all the hardwork I've been doing for the past few years is something I don't think I really want to do for the rest of my life. I need to strike a balance and from what I've seen, I'm getting overdosed from both sides. I want to start over, but I don't know if that's even possible. It reminds me of a lecture from my super cute social psych professor.
It went along the lines of this:
If we were to pay $10 to watch a movie and discover immediately that it was horribly bad and most likely won't get any better, would we sit through the rest even though it sucked (You paid $10 and leaving early would be a waste), or would you get out as soon as you realize the lameness of the movie and get the hell out (Rather not waste any more my precious time on such a lame move even if I did pay $10), or sit and watch a bit more before deciding to leave (hey it might get better!).
It followed that most of my class (250-300) were likely to sit in and struggle through the horribly bad movie, because they felt that they might as well get their money's worth. Very few chose the second option, to bolt out and get out before it gets worse. Even less chose the last option. I was actually one of the cheappies and would stay through the horrible movie to "get my money's worth". If you think about it though, would you really be making the most out of your money by struggling through a movie you already hate? Wouldn't it be more productive to just leave while you are still sane? That's what the #2 people said.
In a gambling situation, this is, in fact what we should do. If it's getting bad, don't freaking wait for the situation to get better. Get the eff out before you lose your home! Don't force yourself to eat some lesser than poison food just because you paid $100 for it.
Where was I getting at...oh right. Just because you wasted your life preparing or even doing something you realize you don't really want to do doesn't mean you should continue to make your life miserable and keep on doing it.
Easier said than done my friend. As a counselor and psychologist, I can easily say that. It's so freaking easy to give sound advice to others, especially when you are not living that life. Theoretically, such advice and guidance makes perfect sense, but is it really all that practical for everyone to follow?
Sure the person wasted 250k+ on their education to become a doctor, its okay. As long as they are happy with their new found love for arts and crafts! Yeah right. Say that to the parents that sold their soul to pay for the kid's education only to get $2.50+tax trinkets out of it. As long as they are happy right? Wrong!
I think there are more important things that your own happiness here. That's plain selfishness I say. Ofcourse there's nothing wrong with being a little selfish now and then, but sometimes life calls for others to be put first ahead of your own needs. Lucky you if you never have to experience this problem or understand what the heck I'm talking about.
In a way, it sounds like the pessimist in us wins over the optimist side even though we try our hardest to have the good guys win.
Yesterday felt like the worst day of my life. I just realized that all the hardwork I've been doing for the past few years is something I don't think I really want to do for the rest of my life. I need to strike a balance and from what I've seen, I'm getting overdosed from both sides. I want to start over, but I don't know if that's even possible. It reminds me of a lecture from my super cute social psych professor.
It went along the lines of this:
If we were to pay $10 to watch a movie and discover immediately that it was horribly bad and most likely won't get any better, would we sit through the rest even though it sucked (You paid $10 and leaving early would be a waste), or would you get out as soon as you realize the lameness of the movie and get the hell out (Rather not waste any more my precious time on such a lame move even if I did pay $10), or sit and watch a bit more before deciding to leave (hey it might get better!).
It followed that most of my class (250-300) were likely to sit in and struggle through the horribly bad movie, because they felt that they might as well get their money's worth. Very few chose the second option, to bolt out and get out before it gets worse. Even less chose the last option. I was actually one of the cheappies and would stay through the horrible movie to "get my money's worth". If you think about it though, would you really be making the most out of your money by struggling through a movie you already hate? Wouldn't it be more productive to just leave while you are still sane? That's what the #2 people said.
In a gambling situation, this is, in fact what we should do. If it's getting bad, don't freaking wait for the situation to get better. Get the eff out before you lose your home! Don't force yourself to eat some lesser than poison food just because you paid $100 for it.
Where was I getting at...oh right. Just because you wasted your life preparing or even doing something you realize you don't really want to do doesn't mean you should continue to make your life miserable and keep on doing it.
Easier said than done my friend. As a counselor and psychologist, I can easily say that. It's so freaking easy to give sound advice to others, especially when you are not living that life. Theoretically, such advice and guidance makes perfect sense, but is it really all that practical for everyone to follow?
Sure the person wasted 250k+ on their education to become a doctor, its okay. As long as they are happy with their new found love for arts and crafts! Yeah right. Say that to the parents that sold their soul to pay for the kid's education only to get $2.50+tax trinkets out of it. As long as they are happy right? Wrong!
I think there are more important things that your own happiness here. That's plain selfishness I say. Ofcourse there's nothing wrong with being a little selfish now and then, but sometimes life calls for others to be put first ahead of your own needs. Lucky you if you never have to experience this problem or understand what the heck I'm talking about.
posted by shine
at
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
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