Worth it?
As sheltered teenager/young adult, I had to spend my undergrad days with roommates. I value my personal space ( stay 3 feet away) and I have my own room at home. You can imagine I was not very thrilled with the idea of rooming with a couple of strangers. Luckily, with the seven roommates I had, I got along with all of them. I never really encountered a real "roommate from hell". Though I did have my own share of headaches, I was pretty lucky. My roommates and I (that is I and not necessarily each other) never had any conflict. I could confidently say we were pretty good friends too. Yes, we still try to keep in touch.
One of my more recent roommates is the one I felt closest to. She was not only my apartment mate and roommate, but she was occasionally my classmate and fellow officer for the org we were part of. We saw each other quite a bit. Imagine how horrible it would be if we didn't get along. Actually, we were really close, almost like a bestfriend to me. In part, I belive it is, because we did have that much in common. We got to share in each other's angst and problems. From computer troubles, research papers, studying and relationship help and family, I listened and I enjoyed it. She was older, yet I was the one giving advice. I was supposed to be the sheltered one, but she was the one who was seemingly more curious and oblivious to things. We struck a good balance. For some reason, I felt older than her =
In that year, I got to know her very well, maybe more thans she knew me. She was the hectic and high strung one who never had time to chill out. Even when she was supposed to be "having fun" and relaxing with her boyfriend (now fiance), she had to set a schedule for it. While "taking a break" she would think about the things she needed to do that weren't getting done while she doing whatever she was at the time. She wouldn't really fully enjoy herself. I won't deny that I have my moments like that, especially when I'm coerced to do something while I need to do something else that isn't being done. BUT, as much as possible, I try to avoid that feeling by finishing what I need to do first and enjoy myself later, or simply pass up whatever it is so I can tend to whatever it is I need to do. I missed out on a lot of fun times, because I chose studying over fun quite a bit. She tries, she really does. She just can't help but want to do everything and satisfy everyone. Of course that's impossible.
It was painful and annoying at times, especially when she would ask for advice and then falter. compromise...usually not to her favor. I accepted that for who she is. I feel like she actualy likes being stressed out more than me. I know a lot of my friends say I do too much and never take breaks, but compared to her, I'm Joe Cool. Don't get me wrong, It's not that I slack off. I try my best and hardest in all my work. I don't like doing anything half-assed (except for maybe this website -P), but she puts too much on her plate to the point of buring herself out. In the process, she even compromises the quality of her work and relationships. You can't do well if you're doing them all at once or too fast. She even does this when she's buying from a website. And those of you who buy onlne know that is definitely a bad idea. Occasionally she'd freak out and make a mistake and I would have to calm her down and try to "fix" whatever it was that messed up because she was impulsive or in such a hurry. At times I don't really get why she does this to herself, but knowing her history and family, I understand she needs to do this to feel in control of her life. She is striving to show her family, especially her father, that she is a successful person he can be proud of. This is her way of saying "look at me". It makes her feel good. I just don't know if it is really working or if she's fully able to enjoy herself with her fiance and her success whens he's burnt out and worried all the time. Last time I saw her, she looked alot better...maybe cause it was summer. But I have a feeling I'll be seeing another frail and unhealthy looking young woman again *sigh*. I hope she gets it together in time for the wedding next year. It's looming...
Random Links:
One of my more recent roommates is the one I felt closest to. She was not only my apartment mate and roommate, but she was occasionally my classmate and fellow officer for the org we were part of. We saw each other quite a bit. Imagine how horrible it would be if we didn't get along. Actually, we were really close, almost like a bestfriend to me. In part, I belive it is, because we did have that much in common. We got to share in each other's angst and problems. From computer troubles, research papers, studying and relationship help and family, I listened and I enjoyed it. She was older, yet I was the one giving advice. I was supposed to be the sheltered one, but she was the one who was seemingly more curious and oblivious to things. We struck a good balance. For some reason, I felt older than her =
In that year, I got to know her very well, maybe more thans she knew me. She was the hectic and high strung one who never had time to chill out. Even when she was supposed to be "having fun" and relaxing with her boyfriend (now fiance), she had to set a schedule for it. While "taking a break" she would think about the things she needed to do that weren't getting done while she doing whatever she was at the time. She wouldn't really fully enjoy herself. I won't deny that I have my moments like that, especially when I'm coerced to do something while I need to do something else that isn't being done. BUT, as much as possible, I try to avoid that feeling by finishing what I need to do first and enjoy myself later, or simply pass up whatever it is so I can tend to whatever it is I need to do. I missed out on a lot of fun times, because I chose studying over fun quite a bit. She tries, she really does. She just can't help but want to do everything and satisfy everyone. Of course that's impossible.
It was painful and annoying at times, especially when she would ask for advice and then falter. compromise...usually not to her favor. I accepted that for who she is. I feel like she actualy likes being stressed out more than me. I know a lot of my friends say I do too much and never take breaks, but compared to her, I'm Joe Cool. Don't get me wrong, It's not that I slack off. I try my best and hardest in all my work. I don't like doing anything half-assed (except for maybe this website -P), but she puts too much on her plate to the point of buring herself out. In the process, she even compromises the quality of her work and relationships. You can't do well if you're doing them all at once or too fast. She even does this when she's buying from a website. And those of you who buy onlne know that is definitely a bad idea. Occasionally she'd freak out and make a mistake and I would have to calm her down and try to "fix" whatever it was that messed up because she was impulsive or in such a hurry. At times I don't really get why she does this to herself, but knowing her history and family, I understand she needs to do this to feel in control of her life. She is striving to show her family, especially her father, that she is a successful person he can be proud of. This is her way of saying "look at me". It makes her feel good. I just don't know if it is really working or if she's fully able to enjoy herself with her fiance and her success whens he's burnt out and worried all the time. Last time I saw her, she looked alot better...maybe cause it was summer. But I have a feeling I'll be seeing another frail and unhealthy looking young woman again *sigh*. I hope she gets it together in time for the wedding next year. It's looming...
Random Links:
posted by shine
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
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