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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Current Musical Obsession

I've been meaning to post about some music I've been obsessing over recently. It helps getting away from too much rock when you're stressed out. Even indie music can be a little too emo and depressing sometimes, so these girls were a nice refreshing way to clense my musical pallet whenever I needed some soothing music from girls who can really sing. Then, after I get enough of them, I can switch back to Foo Fighters, Jimmy Eat World and Incubus :D

First is Corrine Bailey Rae. Some of you may already know her since she's been performing with John Legend. She's also been on the Grammy's but I didn't watch them this year, so I had to resort to Youtube. She is a soul/Jazz/ singer from the UK. Her music is a cross between John Legend, Norah Jones and John Mayer. All of which are musicians I love. If you like these three I gurantee you will like Corrine. Her music reminds me of my Borders/Coffee Bean phase. Her album is definitely worth buying. My favorite track is "Trouble Sleeping" She has that smooth raspy voice. Listen.

Next is a local favorite of mine (since I'm pretty isolated, you guys have probably heard of her too) Colbie Caillat. Her voice is reminiscient of Joss Stone, but her music is more mellow and simply calming. She was born in from VC! and a Malibu native :) Anyway, she also has a spectacular voice. She also looks a bit like Jennifer Aniston, but she's a natural blonde and a real home grown California girl by the beach. You will notice this in the feel of her music. Her album is also 100% buy. I love her single "Bubbly". Give it a listen. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. On the left is the cover of her album Coco released July 17, 2007.

Oh right my bad, Happy Halloween before it's over ^^. I didn't do anything Halloween related except for eating some candy. I did see some er, stripper looking freshmen and sophies on campus today. Some were dressed as vamps, crayons, er, hookers, strippers, and angles and bunnies. To think I go to a Catholic school >_>

Wow I'm such a bad God mother. I just realized as I was typing up my to do list that today...well a few minutes ago was my cousin/God daughter's 4th birthday. I knew there was something I was missing today. Aside from that I can't believe today is Halloween. I really feel so detached from it this year. It feels so distant and not as festive and yet apparently there was a guy on campus wearing a superman cape and not much else and ran into my professor. She was flustered and laughing. Too bad I didn't see it. Last week I did see a few people in costumes. I guess they were on their way to a party. I also ate a bag of assorted candy, but I didn't buy it for Halloween. I was worried that it wouldn't last me until Halloween, but I guess it did. I have a handful of candy left.

Rent is due after tomorrow. I'm also having roommate issues. She's feeling lonely and is thinking of moving in with her "church" family. It's not like she's ever around, so I don't know what the heck she's talking about. I don't know what her decision will be. Either way I will be screwed if she doesn't find a replacement. I just hope whoever she/we find is going to be someone normal, quiet and responsible.

Today I also got our video project and reaction papers back as well as our group project (individual) grade and turned in two papers as well. Glad to get those out of my grasp. I was pleasantly surprised with my scores though. I guess it is evident on how freaking hard you have to work to get your grades. Yet, somehow I feel like I'm getting ripped off or something. I don't know. I guess I wish they had a larger grading scale or point system. Maybe I'm preferring the tests over doing a ridiculous amount of papers and field work assignments. Not only is it time consuming and highly objective, but you seriously can't track your progress. I mean I'm sure I've been improving, but it's really hard to say how much or where when we do so many things and each assignment builds on something else and focuses on a different task. Maybe I'll be less confused once my practicum begins next year. That is also freaking me out at this point. I don't know where I'll be doing my practicum. I certainly do not think I'm anywhere near ready, but we do have two more semesters before then (we don't get summer off--not that I ever took summers off anyway).

What I'm slowly checking off my list is actually what I thoght would be the most nightmarish project ever. Our case study assignment. I won't lie. It's a whole lot of work. So much so that even the district Sp Ed supervisor for LAUSD was apprehensive in allowing me to conduct parent interviews on a case study. My professor is a district supervisor for LBUSD, so she was able to talk to him. He eventually let me do it, but I decided to go with a different case instead since this one was taking forever. I got really lucky cause my awesome classmate, also a behavioral therapist and a second year grad student, had a child who matched my profile. Anyway that is not to say the assignment was easy. By no means has it been. I've had to drive to the school site several times to do interviews, observations and such. I'm glad I was able to avoid a trip there for the psych report and another interview with the teachers. I also had to do an inhome interview with the parent. I also have to meet with the parent again for additional information. These trips are totally killing my gas (I drive an SUV). The major plus to this assignment is I get to understand a whole lot more in what an SP does and the types of information we need to collect with doing an assessment and psych report. I also got to meet a really awesome family and a really great kid. I'm glad I'll be able to help them out with my evaluation.

My nightmare project now is the 20 pg experimental research paper. The paper itself isn't a problem. It's getting raw data to fit my research hypothesis. We are not allowed to use secondary sources. We need a data base to conduct our statistical analyses. Now I could easily do my paper if I knew what data I had access to and where to look, but I have no idea where to find this crap. I guess I should just start looking at public data bases. The things is a lot of the data outthere isn't collected properly or is lacking in a lot of information. *sigh*. I was thinking I would just collect my own data, but that would take forever and would probably produce insignificant results and an unrepresentative sample anyway. Well I guess I'll stop complaining and try to get to sleep. I have another paper due next week coupled with two quizzes. The fun never ends. I'm just glad I can easily get caught up with the reading. I'm so proud of myself actually reading these books. I wonder how I would have done in undergrad if I actually read the chapters I was supposed to?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Finishing the Game Movie-- this Oct 26

OMG! Wong Fu is going to be screening Finishing the Game on Friday!!! I also can't wait to watch this movie. Too bad Ted isn't going to be there. He's going to be in New York promoting another project I believe. Anyway this movie, is directed by the same director who did Better Luck Tomorrow (I was very fortunate to go to a prescreening of that film when it came out since I was still at UCLA at the time and I had connections ^^. Great movie btw). I'll probably be going to the showing in Santa Monica since it's like 8 mins away from my place (and Wong Fu is going to be there XD).

The main premise of this Finishing the Game, as the title implies, an attempt to finish Bruce Lee's Game of Death (1978). As most of you may know, this movie was never finished due to Lee's untimely death and many have desperately wanted to see this movie in its entirety as how Lee would have done it, or envisioned it. I've seen Game of Death and I do like it, but it is obviously lacking and choppy. You can see such a promising piece that was never brought to justice by the way the remaining footage was handled and edited.

Back to Finishing the Game, it is a comedic take at the search for the next Bruce Lee. Based on the trailer alone, it looks seriously funny. I think what makes it even more hilarious is the fact that it is set in the 70s and it pokes fun at the Asian stereotype and American fascination with martial arts films. If I were to compare the "feel" of it, it kinds of reminds me of Dodge Ball although much less ridiculous. It actually isn't anything too novel, but the fact that it is directed by Justin Lin and stars a slew of Asian-American actors (and guest appearances) makes it a lot more fun to watch.

It's nice to see Asians/Asian-Americans in a comedic role where they aren't the butt of the joke created by a White man. Not that I have any major issues of white people poking fun at Asians in films or stereotyping them as cunning villains or the token nerd, but I would rather see Asians and Asian Americans portrayed more truthfully. We can't escape hatred, labels and racism if we don't take a step to stop it and get people informed. Better Luck Tomorrow took a stab at that and it was refreshing. Finally I saw a movie where people could say "Hey, that me up there" or "I know that guy" and "Finally someone is showing the world how we feel". It was also very much an eye opener to all those unaware of what does happen in the Asian-American community. I think FTG will act as a catalyst for the Hollywood mainstream to realize that the Asian-American audience does exist and there is a demand that remains untapped.

Oh and I was gonna say, the guy on the far left, my boy Bernardo Pena is representin'! lol even though he's playing a "Vietnamese wanna be actor" XD. I don't know why I can hear Rex in his cold reading!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

So Let Go

Stumbled upon this through a fan remade version of Wong Fu's "Breathing" video using this song as the bg track in place of Breathing. I've never heard anyone match Imogen Heap's haunting rendition of Let Go, but I think I've found someone who comes really close. I'm especially loving how they arranged the guitar chords for this song.

Going back to Wong Fu,(yes I watched that movie) they released You've Got A Friend a few days ago finally. Philip, Wesley and Ted did not disappoint. Sure the little girl could use some acting lessons, and maybe the male lead, but the story, direction, and Jennifer Leung's natural abilities made the short film a pleasant experience. Probably not as founded as Just a Nice Guy (certainly not as long, but also not as amateurish), but you can see the direction of the story and how it could unfold if it were to be made into an full length film.

The guys have matured in their style, moving past the college short films. I'm hoping for bigger and brighter things for these three. They've come a long way and they've even released a few DVDs and festival nods :) I think it really helps to have a really good Asian American collegiate following. That's a pretty large crowed that's pretty much untapped by the US mainstream. Anyway I digress. I highly recommend watching this short film. It's simple, straightforward, but very poignant. Watch a part of your life unfold on screen in "You've Got a Friend".

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

And if you have more time to kill, I saw this psychotic origami--only an MIT nerd would do. Seriously folks. Who in the freaking hell would have this much time on their hands? I kept thinking, how they would do UCLA's seal. We don't have people in our seal. We just have a star and a book. That's pretty easy right? What would be cool is if you could fold a book with pages coming out of it XD. T

Monday, October 22, 2007

Just finished my stats midterm. I feel a little uneasy at how "easy" the midterm went. I'm one of those students who really maximize the time alotted to make sure I answered every question as correctly as possible. Of course I'm not always the last person to turn my test in, but usually one of the last few people. This time, however, I was the first. That made me a little nervous. I'm thinking I may have missed a complete section of the test or something. Then again, I looked it over twice. I didn't see anything else. The test was also open book and notes, which was ridiculus. I don't know why the hell those people had their books open. It's not like it could have really helped anyway. It's either you know it or you don't. I guess if they didn't study at all (which is unlikely) then it probably would be even a little helpful. In fairness, at the last second before I turned in my paper, I decided to give in and look to make sure of one question. My answer was right.

If the test was as straightforward and easy as I think it is, I should be in for a nice surprise when we get our test papers back. I just hope I didn't screw that up by missing a page or something. Maybe I didn't follow directions? Maybe we were supposed to answer the opposite?! Ahh. Maybe I took a completely different test? It sure seems that way esp since no one bothered to turn in their paper right after me. I walked really slow too and I put away my things as carefully as possible. That room looked like there was a physics quiz going on. We even had calculators handy and technically you didn't really need it. Man that doesn't feel good. Then again I wouldn't want to rott there making myself freak out waiting for someone to turn in their paper. I was kind of glad to get out, but man, that is not a pleasant feeling when you are that much ahead of everyone else. I mean it's not like the test was freaking hard! I'm serious. Any introductory stats class could have answered that test and passed. Well we shall see. *sigh* The things I do to psych myself out. I decided not to go home immediately after the test since I would be doing something unproductive once I got there. So here I am blogging at the lab. I guess I should get started with my other papers. Maybe that will help me be a little more productive. It sucks when you're all caught up on everything else. It makes you feel like there is crap waiting to happen.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Today I came back after doing a two day observation on a child with autism who I'll refer to as Andrew. He was recently promoted to high school and he's just going to turn twelve. He's a very sweet kid and actually quite cute too. You'd never know he was autistic simply by looking at him. He reminds me of my cousin's son (I call him my nephew he's a little younger than Andrew and also quite the heart breaker). Andrew's quite artistic, very bright, and very much a perfectionist. Unfortunately he is also self deprecating. Every time he gets something wrong he berates himself by saying he did it wrong. That was quite disturbing to me, especially for a kid who isn't even twelve yet and has a moderate level of autism. It made me think about how critical his parents were, especially his mom. I spoke with her on the phone a few times and I can tell all she wants is the best for her son and to get him to function as "normally" as possible. To her favor, she's done a wonderful job of teaching him how to act fairly independently doing his work immediately and doing it as well as possible. I can totally see this kid as normal and how he would be if he didn't have autism. I just wish there weren't such illnesses such as these. It's so heart wrenching to see a child with so much potential and talent and yet know they do not fully understand you and yet easily feel pain and sadness. It was hard for me keep my distance and not really "care".

He is new to the high school department and is surrounded by peers mostly older than he is. Case in point, one of the guys in his class was actually trying to get my attention and kept on smiling and trying to hold my hand. -__- apparently he is one of the jocks of the school. Anyway that was made evident when he wouldn't let go of my hand when he claimed he just wanted to shake it. What a bastard! I was not amused and I am sure he knew it by the time I stopped being polite. Sure some other guys at the school tried to do the same, but weren't as persistent and obnoxious. They kept their distance. Too bad I couldn't yell at him. His teacher was there LOL.

Today there was a game and the jock was playing trying to show off of course. I sat next to Andrew, near the shade and away from the loud speakers. Andrew, like many autistic children I've seen including my nephew, hates loud or sharp noise and opted to sit elsewhere. I don't like noise either so that was a relief to get out of that. I tried to get him to watch the game, but he was less than interested. He kept himself occupied by quietly singing to himself and observing the commotion around the area. I was surprised that he can stay in one spot for a long period of time. At one point he came up to me and said "kiss" and tried to give me a kiss on the cheek and I quickly backed away in a reflex (and surprise) and said "no". That was a pretty bad deja vu moment from my college days (bad memories). Of course he berated himself again. I felt bad having to do push him away like that in the sense that I made him feel bad. In such cases, especially if I end up doing work with children or even teenagers, putting clear boundaries and knowing how to act in certain situations can be pretty difficult. As professionals who work in the schools, SPs are bound to protect the rights and uphold the safety of students. That includes acting in a professional and caring manner towards them. This experience alone made me realize how big of a problem this can be if students and even facultly start to hit on you left and right. I don't even consider myself as all that attractive, but I already had a lot of looks going to this school, including one weird teacher who invited me for lunch twice. It was kind of creepy, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he was just one of those "weird" people who don't really fit the mold. I mean how many people ask if you have a boyfriend, are married and where you live in the span of 10 minutes meeting you? Well, I'm glad my trust in people didn't betray me. And no i did not give any personal information. Luckily I don't have a card. He did give me his though. I guess guys would hit anything with a pulse. In Andrew's case, I see him so much like my nephew than it would be easy to act like family with him. Of course, that is one relationship with his family, no matter how close I am to them, I probably can never pursue especially if I plan to stay in this field--which is sad. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings though. He's such a good kid.

I also had a long chat with the biology teacher. She is Japanese (but I doubt she could speak Japanese at all), very strict, very smart, and very outspoken. Kinda scary that lady, but she wouldn't let me go either. I missed home ec because she kept on going on and on about her experience as a teacher, potential nurse, med school, troubled personal life and ultimately her views on the educational system. I did benefit from talking with her though. I'm sure I can use some of her connections even though she is a bitter lady. She's cool though. I think she likes me, cause she doesn't seem to trust anyone else. She seems to think everyone is stupid. I'm glad I don't get that feeling from her on her perception of me. What was cool though was she asked me if I listen to KROQ and I proudly said "almost every day" and she mentioned how Bean has Aspbergers, and I was like "I know!" lol.

The speech pathologist was also Japanese (also very white washed) and I spoke to him briefly about Andrew's progress. I think he's the only sane person there. Well him and the school psych. The home ec teacher and the home room teachers are okay too, but I didn't really have too much time to talk to them. In a way I think these people like to get new blood in the system since they've been in the loop for such a long time. Getting in contact with someone from the outside world is probably refreshing to them. The thing is, most of them have lives outside of the school, so I don't get why everyone is freaking talking to me so much!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

If walls could talk

A Vision of Students Today - Michael Wesch, Kansas State University

A profound message on video ironically made through a vice pointed out in the film. Obviously these "statistics" even if they were true are shown here to make a point. I would not be surprised if these figures were founded and true.

I probably can't relate to most of what was in the video. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but I'm sure you know plenty of people who can easily fit into this mold. As for me, every single thing I read for my classes are made for me to apply in my actual job. I am in class for 11 hours a week and study over 5 hours a day reading and studying. I write more papers than emails. Although most of my emails are school related. I spend a lot of time online, mostly doing research or school, but occasionally blogging and taking a break. I hardly spend any time on social networking sites like Facebook, Xanga, Friendster, and do not own a MySpace. (yes I have vehemently resisted). I almost never watch TV and I will be in far more debt than most people in the world in their lifetime by the time I get out of gradschool. I do not make less than $1 a day. I make NOTHING at all. So what do you say about that?

That aside, I am aware I am one of the minority. Not only minority in the video, but a minority in the US. I am not White and I am not rich. I do not spend hours on a cell phone. I am lucky if I rack up an hour talking at the end of the month, but I am guilty of having a big SUV and owning a laptop to keep me sane. Oh and I do not listen to that much music as much as I do like it. I don't have my iPod stuck in my ears all day. I actually don't use it anymore. I prefer quiet since I'm studying most of the time or doing something out in my profession that wouldn't warrant me to do so. ANYWAY, the fact of the matter is the United States is a privileged nation more so than most, how can we point the finger at anyone when this is the life and society that we were born into? It is not these spoiled children's fault for being like this. I am sure if the many starving children were given this kind of life they would probably being doing the exact same thing. Life isn't fair. We know that. Just because some other starving nation is suffering doesn't make us monsters for enjoying what we have.

Yes ignorance is bad, and helping your fellow man is a wonderful thing, but the only reason why we can really say this is because we are conscientious enough to even think about others beyond ourselves. What about them? Besides, there are many who live here who struggle, who are poor, who are dying, many in worse cases than those who live in third world nations. Take New Orleans for example. Many of us are in fact grateful, but a vast majority either take it for granted (because they don't know any better) or do not realize its value. The educational system is far from perfect, but that applies to ANYWHERE in the world. Not just the US. I am tired of people in the United States pointing out how much it sucks and how bad it is. We aren't all bad. if we were, then you wouldn't be alive to be complaining now would you?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

JEW at the Wiltern today

*cries* \(T^T)/

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Spreading the Love

Two anniversaries today. My grandmother and grandfather's 61st wedding anniversary and 10th Anniversary of Love Generation :)

Did I mention how I hate group projects?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I think I could use one of these. I also think this is a freaking awesomely cool idea and design. The guys at random-international (the guys who made the pixelroller that you've seen all over youtube) make me envy my friends who do art for a living. Alas, as much as I love art, I can't seem to find my fun and leisure as something I would actually get paid for (commissions don't count :P). I guess once I am paid to do something I love on a regular basis, I probably won't love it anymore. D:

Friday, October 5, 2007

I can't believe how productive and overworked I feel today, and I don't even think it's because of all the things I did. Stupid weather really got to me and I'm starting to feel sick. Today I left my apt a little before 8am and did my shadowing at an affluent school in Los Angeles. I am really hating how the schools in smaller affluent neighborhoods in cities like like Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Westwood have freakishly narrow roads and very limited parking and one way streets everywhere. That being the case, I got my first parking ticket at $50 bucks, stupid street cleaning sign was not visible enough for me, but whatever.

The day started out pretty decent. Although I missed the entrance to the 405 north completely due to traffic, I was lucky that the school I was going to was near a main road, so I ended up there without having to get on the freeway.

I finally get to the school after my own brush with traffic and finding parking. I enter the office and wait for the school psychologist. A rather tall skinny guy with nicely dark brown/black neatly tousled hair walks in with his Starbucks in one hand, black v neck sweater with white shirt peeking out, dark loose jeans and trendy leather sneaker type shoes strides into the place and sees me and asks "Hi are you looking for (insert name here)" and I reply, yes and he says, "Hi I'm (insert name here)". Now the first few seconds I see him I get a feeling he was the school psych and of course he was. He was a lot younger than I thought he would be, but I wasn't too surprised just talking with him on the phone. Physically, he looked and sounded so much like Zach Braff it was weird. I ALMOST told him that too, but luckily I refrained. I am sure, esp after talking to Eric that his respect for me would have lowered just a tad...okay maybe alot. Anyway that said, he was really cute. Yes I know. Roll your eyes, but he was very much so. Trendy, very witty, intelligent and cool, plus he really loves his job working to help kids. How perfect is that? Oh did I mention he went to UCLA too? Yeah, exactly. So anyway, as I sit there interviewing Mr. Braff lookalike, I am really amazed at how knowlegable he is. I'm sure some of it was in part to show the newbie, me, how things are done especially when he just got out of grad school a couple years ago himself. It was probably nice to give back to a future colleague. Still, I'm not sure if he remembers my name all too well. He was able to introduce me to the flirty teachers as we were walking down the halls though. :P

Prior to the actual shadowing I was actually interviewed a bit myself. It was so nice to actually talk to someone who knew what I was going through and had similar experiences transitioning from UCLA to another school. As he said, LMU has a cutthroat intensive SP program and it is evident from the very beginning when they force you into a pedantic tirade boasting about your merits in front of and competing with a small group of potential peers and direct competition. From the interview process, you immediately see your competition and you really have to fight to be heard or you will not be noticed and will get drowned out. In all honesty, I never thought of that interview as a picture of what was to come as "Zach" told me, but I guess he was right. He asked me how I was liking grad school so far and I told him that it's a bit overwhelming and that I'm not feeling the sense of connection that I would like to have. I also acknowledged that I understand that grad school is very different and people have their own lives and you're being prepared for a career and everyone is essentially your competition. They are your peers and your main competition for the very few slots that are out right now. He told me that's exactly how he felt when he started. It's funny how we had these little things in common. Both of us took time off and feel like it was a good choice, both of us went to UCLA as an undergrad, and both of us have the same vision in children. What made me really happy was the reassurance I got from him as we were talking about the profession and the nuances in the field. He was so enthusiastic to tell me about the things he's been doing, I wasn't sure if it was because he was just that knowledgeable, showing off, wanted to help, or was just enthusiastic about his work. Maybe it was a combination of all those things. At any rate, I was very impressed at how much he really did know, and how easy going and yet very smart he was. He was able to keep a good vibe with the teachers (who easily giggled and flirted with him) and has a decent relationship with the kids and administration. Very kick back, but he knew his stuff well. He was very on top of things, he made it look so easy. He's like one of those guys you hate because he knows what he's doing and not even breaking a sweat. I can't hate him though, because he looks like Zach Braff XD lol, well because he's that passionate about his job, and he was more than willing to help me out. Plus he told me that he could see that I will become a really great SP with the way I am approaching things right now and the insights I've been sharing from the beginning. I don't know how much of that is bs. For all I know it could be. However, I never fished for compliments and always expressed my sincere interest and concern in all of the areas we touched upon during the interview. I had so many questions and reactions to things and he more than willingly responded in kind. It was refreshing to hear someone my age tell me how it is right now rather than an older person who's been there forever. It doesn't feel the same. I guess I felt more of a realistic view, a fresh view of the way things are and could be. It was a lot of fun talking to him, because he knew so much and I was able to keep up with everything. In fact I was so surprised that I knew almost everything he talked about and so was he. He told me that if I am able to know that much my first year, then he's sure I'll have no problem later on. Well that sounds nice and all, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. I've seen the amount of work they do and the number of responsibilities they have and it's really daunting. He works in two schools as well, so he juggles that and is still able to keep a really awesome disposition. I wish I could be that cool D: Well I have his number, so he told me to call if I need any help on my practicum or any advice. I am hoping I'll eventually have to call him again ^^ but knowing me, that probably won't happen. But dang he really looks like Zach Braff...the thinner cooler less dorky Zach Braff. I don't care I got that ticket, because I got to meet my real life Zach. I couldn't believe how goofy smiley I was when I got out and started driving north lol. What a dork!

Anyway after that I rushed to Ventura to do a video project with a friend. That got held short because of some technical difficulty. I did another interview locally with another SP. That took a total of three hours due to interruptions and meetings. I also think that's how I got sick. Afterwards I went to Simi to borrow a Digital video camera from my cousin. I got to see my little nephew who's looking so cute and a lot like his dad. Finally got home so tired and caught up with my parents and brother...who seems to be doing a lot better. in school. Now all I have to do is write three reports, finish that video for my class, do laundry, do grocery shopping and study for my quiz. I can do it!